when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
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