They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
barbara walters just said penis...
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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