CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
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