she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
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