Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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