Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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