it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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