Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I just sucked dick on a ferry
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
