dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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