we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize