Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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