I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize