can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
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