Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I believe in your delicious
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