dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
