All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Randomize
