if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Did I show you my penis last night?
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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