He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
should my penis look like a turkey
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
