just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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