Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
