Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
