Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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