Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
