I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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