WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
