Your tits are I can't wait for
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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