I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
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