you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
