So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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