So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
The struggles of a small town man whore
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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