I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
