Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I love you. Go after that dick
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Success! We fucked roommates!
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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