so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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