Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
