I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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