just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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