it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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