if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize