she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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