Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize
