Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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