Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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