I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
