I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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