I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
