Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I cockslap morals
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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