When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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