Moan for me like Helen Keller
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
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