I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Randomize
