I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
oh god was she eating orange peels again
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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