i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
