Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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