Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
