i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
