No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
