We're facebook friends in real life
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
