Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Randomize
