I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
