You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
