carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
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