The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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