This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
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He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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