Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
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