I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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