piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
