if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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