VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
